Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I need to stop coming to work sober
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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