They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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