Nicole vs. Life
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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