writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
