yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
