mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
is that a dick in a sweater?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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