The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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