i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
did i walk over a car last night?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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