My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
