he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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