sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
