So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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