I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
