this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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