I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
