He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
