I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
