i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
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I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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