Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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