he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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