Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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