So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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