Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
