If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
