I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
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Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
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Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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