Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
