I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
