So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
