Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
