Can Purell be used as lube?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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