Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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