Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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