the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
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get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
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Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.