I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.