I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.