Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
