fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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