who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We need to get me chipped asap
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
