Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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