shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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