Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
