Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize