Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
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