i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
