Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
