I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
