Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
