i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
