Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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