I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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