I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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