I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
