And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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