I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he fucked my hip out of place.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
