I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
