$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
