saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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