I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
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