she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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