Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
