I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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