Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
