biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
