I can tuck mytits in my pants
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
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