he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
