She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You ruined the universe
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize