Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
